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[So he knows.
2B turns her head from him towards the sea silently, almost mechanically. Somehow, some way, he knows. He remembers every bit of pain she's caused him, every instance he met her only for her to kill him again. He remembers every time she stabbed him in the back, every time she snuffed his life out despite how desperately he tried to live. The endless cycle she thought she bore alone is suddenly shared, and she can't fathom how he can stand to look at her without despising every fiber of her being.
She can't even look at herself without seeing that.
Suddenly, all she can think about was how relieved she was when she died. 9S was safe, and she didn't have to hurt him anymore. She didn't have to hurt anymore. Their endless cycle was finally over once she closed the loop with herself. Here, 9S would be safe. A2 was here, and whoever cared for 9S enough to confess would surely take care of him too. She didn't have to hurt him anymore. With all that said, was there any reason for her to still have to hurt like this?
It occurs to her that there isn't.
So she stands up, walking easily towards the ocean. She doesn't stop until she's in the water, struggling to put one foot in front of the other despite her weight. When her foot finally steps into nothing, the waves easily tipping her forward to let the water drag her under, she slips beneath the surface with a smile.
She's always felt like she'd be crushed by the sheer pain of these feelings alone. It'd be fitting if it was literal.
... You better reload.]
2B turns her head from him towards the sea silently, almost mechanically. Somehow, some way, he knows. He remembers every bit of pain she's caused him, every instance he met her only for her to kill him again. He remembers every time she stabbed him in the back, every time she snuffed his life out despite how desperately he tried to live. The endless cycle she thought she bore alone is suddenly shared, and she can't fathom how he can stand to look at her without despising every fiber of her being.
She can't even look at herself without seeing that.
Suddenly, all she can think about was how relieved she was when she died. 9S was safe, and she didn't have to hurt him anymore. She didn't have to hurt anymore. Their endless cycle was finally over once she closed the loop with herself. Here, 9S would be safe. A2 was here, and whoever cared for 9S enough to confess would surely take care of him too. She didn't have to hurt him anymore. With all that said, was there any reason for her to still have to hurt like this?
It occurs to her that there isn't.
So she stands up, walking easily towards the ocean. She doesn't stop until she's in the water, struggling to put one foot in front of the other despite her weight. When her foot finally steps into nothing, the waves easily tipping her forward to let the water drag her under, she slips beneath the surface with a smile.
She's always felt like she'd be crushed by the sheer pain of these feelings alone. It'd be fitting if it was literal.
... You better reload.]
[There's a brief, terrifying moment where she considers purposefully misunderstanding his words. YoRHa died all the time, rebooted and reloaded into another body with barely a moment's lag in between death and reactivation. As a Scanner model, 9S especially had a tendency to die out on the field frequently. Still, there was hardly any need for concern when it was never permanent. Dying over and over was something completely normal, and certainly not something worth another person's distress and worry.
It would be easy to leave it at that and never bring up the topic again. It would be all too easy not to face the weight of her crimes.
But she's the one who asked, isn't she? And if she's being honest with herself, she's been waiting a long, long time to pay for her crimes. To repent for her sins.
That doesn't make any of this easy though. They're designed to resemble humans so closely, but as the full weight of his words sinks in further and further, the way she stills is anything but human. She hardly even breathes. Save for the ocean breeze rusting her hair and clothing, she looks more statue than person. Earlier, she could barely wrap her mind around what he was saying. Now, she can't even bare to think about them, his words having left her so utterly, completely paralyzed.
Distantly, she thinks she should be glad they have little to worry about in terms of threats here. As she is right now, she'd be done for if there were machine lifeforms here.
I guess we’re lucky there aren’t any enemies around here. That could’ve been fatal if machine lifeforms attacked.
Just— how much— could he—?]
... Since when. [She cuts herself off, steadying herself. If her voice wavers too much, he'll be too concerned with her well-being, and this is something she needs to know no matter what.] Since when have you remembered?
It would be easy to leave it at that and never bring up the topic again. It would be all too easy not to face the weight of her crimes.
But she's the one who asked, isn't she? And if she's being honest with herself, she's been waiting a long, long time to pay for her crimes. To repent for her sins.
That doesn't make any of this easy though. They're designed to resemble humans so closely, but as the full weight of his words sinks in further and further, the way she stills is anything but human. She hardly even breathes. Save for the ocean breeze rusting her hair and clothing, she looks more statue than person. Earlier, she could barely wrap her mind around what he was saying. Now, she can't even bare to think about them, his words having left her so utterly, completely paralyzed.
Distantly, she thinks she should be glad they have little to worry about in terms of threats here. As she is right now, she'd be done for if there were machine lifeforms here.
I guess we’re lucky there aren’t any enemies around here. That could’ve been fatal if machine lifeforms attacked.
Just— how much— could he—?]
... Since when. [She cuts herself off, steadying herself. If her voice wavers too much, he'll be too concerned with her well-being, and this is something she needs to know no matter what.] Since when have you remembered?
Really? Nines can do that? I've met him! We're friends. He helped me figure out what to do for you, actually.
[Geir is surprised to hear that -- he thinks of 9S as someone who understands technology rather than plants. he's still very much looking forward to the non-biological lights that his new friend promised him, but he dutifully notes down in his mental checklist that he might be able to help with finding out new information about plants, too.]
Of course I'm pretty excited! I worked hard on this. And here we go...
[with that, they emerge into a small clearing with a stream running through it. there are two notable things about the scene: one, the swift silver fish that occasionally leap up from the water, and two, the three boulders wedged carefully into something like a comfortable, 2B-sized seat in a shaded curve of the waterway. simply put, it's a personal fishing spot -- and not one that looks like anyone else has found it yet.]
Ta-da!
[Geir is surprised to hear that -- he thinks of 9S as someone who understands technology rather than plants. he's still very much looking forward to the non-biological lights that his new friend promised him, but he dutifully notes down in his mental checklist that he might be able to help with finding out new information about plants, too.]
Of course I'm pretty excited! I worked hard on this. And here we go...
[with that, they emerge into a small clearing with a stream running through it. there are two notable things about the scene: one, the swift silver fish that occasionally leap up from the water, and two, the three boulders wedged carefully into something like a comfortable, 2B-sized seat in a shaded curve of the waterway. simply put, it's a personal fishing spot -- and not one that looks like anyone else has found it yet.]
Ta-da!
[And just as moments ago 9S had appreciated 2B's ability to cut right to the heart of a matter, now he finds himself wishing it were otherwise. There's nothing for it, and the question is enough to cut off any further meandering statements he might've otherwise uttered. Now he's left wondering how to answer that question.
If he where wholeheartedly honest, he'd say it was since his reactivation. But when has 9S been wholeheartedly honest, when it came to matters like this? The answer is as simple as it is stark: he never has. And so he concludes, too easily, that he'll supply what he needs to but not the whole of it]
Since I found myself in that Aimintas place.
[Since his reactivation, but this he doesn't say. He already knew 2B's role in his life far before that, and didn't need a full and complete memory to tell him as much. Now, of course, he has it anyway. The confirmation of his theories is there in his personal data, as though it was never gone to begin with.
But it's not what she asked. 2B didn't ask him how long he'd suspected what he knows now — she asked what he remembered. And with a subject that fills him with such dread, and leaves her so still she could be in maintenance, he'll only volunteer so much]
Didn't seem like the sort of thing you just...mention one day.
If he where wholeheartedly honest, he'd say it was since his reactivation. But when has 9S been wholeheartedly honest, when it came to matters like this? The answer is as simple as it is stark: he never has. And so he concludes, too easily, that he'll supply what he needs to but not the whole of it]
Since I found myself in that Aimintas place.
[Since his reactivation, but this he doesn't say. He already knew 2B's role in his life far before that, and didn't need a full and complete memory to tell him as much. Now, of course, he has it anyway. The confirmation of his theories is there in his personal data, as though it was never gone to begin with.
But it's not what she asked. 2B didn't ask him how long he'd suspected what he knows now — she asked what he remembered. And with a subject that fills him with such dread, and leaves her so still she could be in maintenance, he'll only volunteer so much]
Didn't seem like the sort of thing you just...mention one day.
[Her mouth drops open.
Ever since he woke up in Aimintas? That long? But that means— From the very first moment they saw each other again, he already—
She can barely even process what this means, her thought routines having momentary lapses of sharp static as they try to work through the weight of this. How could it have been so long? How could she not have realized? (But who was she kidding, of course she never realized. She's never been good at seeing past what 9S is willing to show her. Despite everything, she's never been good at really knowing who he is.) It would've been no surprise to find out that he suspected her of her true role, not when it's happened so many times before. This? She never could've guessed, never even thought it was possible. She never would've wanted this for him, to know just how many times she hurt him.
Goodbye, 2B ...
I-It hurts ... It ... h-hurt ... s ...
I want ... to see you ... again ...
Hahah ... You sure are kind ... 2B ...
How could he know all that and still smile at her like he always did? How could he remember all the times he died, whether she killed him or he killed himself because of her, all the times he had to lose the person he was, how could he remember everything she's taken from him and still—]
You said you were glad to be wherever I was. [There's a laugh, short and sharp and utterly empty. Even then, she'd been so selfishly happy to hear those words. She couldn't understand how that could be true even if he didn't remember everything that had happened between them, and here they are now, and he'd known all along. It could almost be funny.] How?
[Why? After all this time, she just can't understand how he can care so much for her when she's done nothing but hurt him over and over and over again. Repeatedly, endlessly. He should hate her, and she deserves to be hated, but he doesn't and she just can't understand why.]
Ever since he woke up in Aimintas? That long? But that means— From the very first moment they saw each other again, he already—
She can barely even process what this means, her thought routines having momentary lapses of sharp static as they try to work through the weight of this. How could it have been so long? How could she not have realized? (But who was she kidding, of course she never realized. She's never been good at seeing past what 9S is willing to show her. Despite everything, she's never been good at really knowing who he is.) It would've been no surprise to find out that he suspected her of her true role, not when it's happened so many times before. This? She never could've guessed, never even thought it was possible. She never would've wanted this for him, to know just how many times she hurt him.
Goodbye, 2B ...
I-It hurts ... It ... h-hurt ... s ...
I want ... to see you ... again ...
Hahah ... You sure are kind ... 2B ...
How could he know all that and still smile at her like he always did? How could he remember all the times he died, whether she killed him or he killed himself because of her, all the times he had to lose the person he was, how could he remember everything she's taken from him and still—]
You said you were glad to be wherever I was. [There's a laugh, short and sharp and utterly empty. Even then, she'd been so selfishly happy to hear those words. She couldn't understand how that could be true even if he didn't remember everything that had happened between them, and here they are now, and he'd known all along. It could almost be funny.] How?
[Why? After all this time, she just can't understand how he can care so much for her when she's done nothing but hurt him over and over and over again. Repeatedly, endlessly. He should hate her, and she deserves to be hated, but he doesn't and she just can't understand why.]
[9S can guess well enough just why 2B is shocked. Although he was made to forget over and over again, she never had that luxury. She was fully aware all along of the cyclical nature of their relationship, meeting and parting, over and over again. It always ended in violence, as it necessarily had to. And for once remembering all of those times, 9S can look back on the way that weight compounded, steadily weighing 2B down more and more.
It isn't a wonder at all then that she can't understand why he feels the way he does, now that for once his memory is equal to her own. Not just one lifetime or another, but all of it. And that thought is sufficient to force him to look her way, though he remains unsure whether it's better to do so or not]
Like memories of pure light. That's the message you left for me, isn't it?
[9S doesn't wait for confirmation — doesn't need to. Those words are burned into his memory as surely as anything ever was. As much as they pained him when he first heard them, as much as they made him ache as though he'd been hollowed out from within, he carried them with him]
The thing is, I consider the world a very dark place without you.
[And he was consumed only with fulfilling the objective they supposedly had, and avenging her. After that...it didn't matter if he had a soul or not, it didn't matter if there was nowhere for him to go after he ceased to function. He had been determined to join her in death all the same.
Because that was preferable to being alone.
Because that was preferable to being without her.
The simple truth was that without 2B, 9S felt alone no matter who was around him, or reached out to him, or tried to reel him back from the dark path he had started down. A2 had tried, though he doesn't really understand her reasons, save that he supposes it had something to do with 2B's wishes. She had said her name, in the end. Devola and Popola had likewise reached out to him, and even 4S. But none of them could change the simple fact that the brightest part of his life, despite the role he knew she must have in it, had been snuffed out]
It isn't a wonder at all then that she can't understand why he feels the way he does, now that for once his memory is equal to her own. Not just one lifetime or another, but all of it. And that thought is sufficient to force him to look her way, though he remains unsure whether it's better to do so or not]
Like memories of pure light. That's the message you left for me, isn't it?
[9S doesn't wait for confirmation — doesn't need to. Those words are burned into his memory as surely as anything ever was. As much as they pained him when he first heard them, as much as they made him ache as though he'd been hollowed out from within, he carried them with him]
The thing is, I consider the world a very dark place without you.
[And he was consumed only with fulfilling the objective they supposedly had, and avenging her. After that...it didn't matter if he had a soul or not, it didn't matter if there was nowhere for him to go after he ceased to function. He had been determined to join her in death all the same.
Because that was preferable to being alone.
Because that was preferable to being without her.
The simple truth was that without 2B, 9S felt alone no matter who was around him, or reached out to him, or tried to reel him back from the dark path he had started down. A2 had tried, though he doesn't really understand her reasons, save that he supposes it had something to do with 2B's wishes. She had said her name, in the end. Devola and Popola had likewise reached out to him, and even 4S. But none of them could change the simple fact that the brightest part of his life, despite the role he knew she must have in it, had been snuffed out]
[Just as she thought. At this point, she thinks 9S knows the entire coven.]
He's a Scanner model, so he has a lot of information about a wide variety of things. If he doesn't have intel about the plant life here already, it wouldn't be too difficult for him to gather it.
[Shamelessly takes any opportunity to let everyone know just how skilled and great 9S is!! But when they come into the clearing and she takes everything in, her mouth drops open slightly. There's no denying the awe in her face, even with half of it covered. She'd already be happy just to be shown another fishing spot, but there's no mistaking the way the boulders are arranged. This was definitely made for her.]
This is incredible. [And she smiles. It's a small one, but it's there, soft and warm.] Thank you, Geir, really.
He's a Scanner model, so he has a lot of information about a wide variety of things. If he doesn't have intel about the plant life here already, it wouldn't be too difficult for him to gather it.
[Shamelessly takes any opportunity to let everyone know just how skilled and great 9S is!! But when they come into the clearing and she takes everything in, her mouth drops open slightly. There's no denying the awe in her face, even with half of it covered. She'd already be happy just to be shown another fishing spot, but there's no mistaking the way the boulders are arranged. This was definitely made for her.]
This is incredible. [And she smiles. It's a small one, but it's there, soft and warm.] Thank you, Geir, really.
I'll ask him.
[he barely has time to finish that part of the conversation before 2B sees the fishing spot and he's able to sit back and watch her reaction. Geir preens, very obviously, sitting up straighter and puffing out his chest a bit. he even unfolds and refolds his wings in bashful satisfaction. his gambit worked just as planned, mwahahahaha!]
Oh, it was nothing. We found this stream, and I'd heard you liked fishing from Nines, so...!
[bullshit it was nothing. he's so pleased with himself.]
Me'n'Vern haven't told anyone else about the fish yet, so you can share it or not. Whatever you like.
[he barely has time to finish that part of the conversation before 2B sees the fishing spot and he's able to sit back and watch her reaction. Geir preens, very obviously, sitting up straighter and puffing out his chest a bit. he even unfolds and refolds his wings in bashful satisfaction. his gambit worked just as planned, mwahahahaha!]
Oh, it was nothing. We found this stream, and I'd heard you liked fishing from Nines, so...!
[bullshit it was nothing. he's so pleased with himself.]
Me'n'Vern haven't told anyone else about the fish yet, so you can share it or not. Whatever you like.
[So he did find it. She's glad for that, but only distantly right now. It's hard to be glad for anything when the person she cares for most in the world knows exactly how many times she hurt him with her own two hands.]
But you actually had the world for once. Finally. You could've done anything you wanted.
[To be fair though, she doesn't know what things were like once she was gone, and she recognizes that. But 9S is also the most capable person she knows. It's hard for her to imagine not having worked things out somehow. If he could figure out how to wield a weapon just to fight her, he could figure out a way to fight the machines even without her there to help. Besides, A2 was there, or if not A2, the Resistance and everyone there.
He's looking her way again finally, but she can only keep her gaze down, ashamed. There was so much possible for 9S without her around. Even if he believes so himself, even when he told her as much himself, she can't see how her being there could outweigh the opportunity for literally everything and anything else. She always ended his life so soon, so quickly. He never had much chance to do anything.
So why would the world be so dark without her? She can only think the opposite.]
But you actually had the world for once. Finally. You could've done anything you wanted.
[To be fair though, she doesn't know what things were like once she was gone, and she recognizes that. But 9S is also the most capable person she knows. It's hard for her to imagine not having worked things out somehow. If he could figure out how to wield a weapon just to fight her, he could figure out a way to fight the machines even without her there to help. Besides, A2 was there, or if not A2, the Resistance and everyone there.
He's looking her way again finally, but she can only keep her gaze down, ashamed. There was so much possible for 9S without her around. Even if he believes so himself, even when he told her as much himself, she can't see how her being there could outweigh the opportunity for literally everything and anything else. She always ended his life so soon, so quickly. He never had much chance to do anything.
So why would the world be so dark without her? She can only think the opposite.]
[9S understands what 2B is suggesting, or at least he thinks so. He was free of the limitations YoRHa had imposed upon him, free of a cycle of death and restriction that had defined his short and violent life. And yet free of these confining factors, free of his increasingly unwilling executioner, what did 9S have? So much of his identity, so much of his sense of purpose, was tied to YoRHa, and the lie they were created to unknowingly perpetuate.
Divested of that purpose, his new purpose had become supporting 2B. And 9S was satisfied with that much, despite the role he was certain she had in his life. There is no denying he felt betrayed and hurt, suspecting that she had killed him time and again and that his memory was tampered with, but in the end...
In the end he still wanted simply to love her. And Adam had seen that contradiction within him, resenting and loving someone at the same time, mocked and derided him for it, echoing some of the thoughts he already directed at himself for the same.
But the same reason he struggled to reconcile those emotions is the same reason he doesn't want to exist without her]
You were always my world, 2B.
[9S remembers distinctly what it is to be alone. He didn't need a reminder in the form of her death and consequent absence from his life. In the past he had chosen to end himself rather than her, to perpetuate (selfishly) the cycle of meeting her and dying at her ever more grudging hands. Because each of those deaths still came with the promise of meeting her again]
It was enough for me, just being at your side. We might not have families, the way humans do, but I... [He trails off, line of sight sinking to the sand] To me, that's what you are.
[So what was left for him without a purpose, without a home, and without her?]
Divested of that purpose, his new purpose had become supporting 2B. And 9S was satisfied with that much, despite the role he was certain she had in his life. There is no denying he felt betrayed and hurt, suspecting that she had killed him time and again and that his memory was tampered with, but in the end...
In the end he still wanted simply to love her. And Adam had seen that contradiction within him, resenting and loving someone at the same time, mocked and derided him for it, echoing some of the thoughts he already directed at himself for the same.
But the same reason he struggled to reconcile those emotions is the same reason he doesn't want to exist without her]
You were always my world, 2B.
[9S remembers distinctly what it is to be alone. He didn't need a reminder in the form of her death and consequent absence from his life. In the past he had chosen to end himself rather than her, to perpetuate (selfishly) the cycle of meeting her and dying at her ever more grudging hands. Because each of those deaths still came with the promise of meeting her again]
It was enough for me, just being at your side. We might not have families, the way humans do, but I... [He trails off, line of sight sinking to the sand] To me, that's what you are.
[So what was left for him without a purpose, without a home, and without her?]
2B.
[ a genuine smile. it's been awhile, since he saw her last.
and so much has happened in that short span of time. so much he can't wrap his head around it all. ]
Sit with me?
[ jude crouches down in the sand, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his chin atop them. ]
... So much has happened. There's so much I want to talk to you about, I have no idea where to start.
[ a genuine smile. it's been awhile, since he saw her last.
and so much has happened in that short span of time. so much he can't wrap his head around it all. ]
Sit with me?
[ jude crouches down in the sand, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his chin atop them. ]
... So much has happened. There's so much I want to talk to you about, I have no idea where to start.
[There's something eerily familiar about this, but she knows exactly what that something is. Hadn't this exact situation happened not too long ago, just with a different person? Something in her gut twists at the scene.
But surely she's just overthinking things. What could Jude possibly talk about with her that would make her feel like that? So she takes a seat next to him easily, calmly breathing in and out through her nose.]
Wherever you'd like to start from. [She has no idea what this is about after all, so really, it's up to him.]
But surely she's just overthinking things. What could Jude possibly talk about with her that would make her feel like that? So she takes a seat next to him easily, calmly breathing in and out through her nose.]
Wherever you'd like to start from. [She has no idea what this is about after all, so really, it's up to him.]
Okay.
[ he takes a deep, shaky breath, visibly nervous. ]
I...
[ a brief moment passes, and then, jude just... blurts it out. ]
I don't know if 9S spoke to you about it, but some... things happened, and... I ended up confessing to him. L-Like. Feelings. I have feelings for him, and after a lot of talking and misunderstandings, we're... um. Well. We're trying the whole relationship thing out. So. That's happening!
[ he's kind of, sort of, maybe, probably stumbling over his words, if only because he doesn't have the slightest idea how 2b will react. jude respects her. he admires her. he cares about her opinion, and this is such a delicate matter. ]
I just— I just thought you should know. You know 9S better than I do, and I'm doing everything I can to take things slow. He's already stuck on the idea of an android being together with a human in the first place, and...
[ jude doesn't even realize his cheeks are burning red. ]
Y-Yeah. He said I could drop by whenever I want to, so... I hope I won't be intruding on anything.
[ jude keeps his gaze averted, blushing to the tips of his ears. he didn't think it'd be quite this hard to confess to 2b. it might have been harder than confessing to 9s. ]
[ he takes a deep, shaky breath, visibly nervous. ]
I...
[ a brief moment passes, and then, jude just... blurts it out. ]
I don't know if 9S spoke to you about it, but some... things happened, and... I ended up confessing to him. L-Like. Feelings. I have feelings for him, and after a lot of talking and misunderstandings, we're... um. Well. We're trying the whole relationship thing out. So. That's happening!
[ he's kind of, sort of, maybe, probably stumbling over his words, if only because he doesn't have the slightest idea how 2b will react. jude respects her. he admires her. he cares about her opinion, and this is such a delicate matter. ]
I just— I just thought you should know. You know 9S better than I do, and I'm doing everything I can to take things slow. He's already stuck on the idea of an android being together with a human in the first place, and...
[ jude doesn't even realize his cheeks are burning red. ]
Y-Yeah. He said I could drop by whenever I want to, so... I hope I won't be intruding on anything.
[ jude keeps his gaze averted, blushing to the tips of his ears. he didn't think it'd be quite this hard to confess to 2b. it might have been harder than confessing to 9s. ]
[Whatever was twisting in her gut immediately spins out and dissolves, and she lets out a quiet, shaky breath because see? What was she even worrying for? Of course it wouldn't be anything so devastating.
Although that's not to say it's not surprising.
But then again, maybe it really isn't that surprising.]
You're not intruding on anything. [Jude had so much to say and had such a hard time getting it all out, she figures it's probably best to address them one by one.] He told me a little bit about it, although he didn't say who confessed. I didn't know it was you. [a beat] Although I guess I'm not surprised. I don't know anyone who talks about 9S as much as you do.
So thank you, for telling me. 9S will probably be stuck on that for a while given that it's so ["unnatural," she almost says, but she doesn't think Jude would like to hear that] strange for us, but... I think of all the humans I've met so far, you're the one who matches him best for something like this. I'm glad that it's you.
You'll try your best to make him happy. [That's what these kinds of relationships are supposed to lead to, right? Happiness. 6O certainly made it sound like that's what it was, and she wasn't exactly keen on using that wandering couple as a reference for romance.
There's a kind of firmness to her tone though. Nothing cold or anything like that, but one that brooks no arguments or rebuttals. The kind that would remind someone that 2B isn't just an android, she's a soldier, and for good reason.
The kind you wouldn't dare displease for fear of the consequences.]
Right?
Although that's not to say it's not surprising.
But then again, maybe it really isn't that surprising.]
You're not intruding on anything. [Jude had so much to say and had such a hard time getting it all out, she figures it's probably best to address them one by one.] He told me a little bit about it, although he didn't say who confessed. I didn't know it was you. [a beat] Although I guess I'm not surprised. I don't know anyone who talks about 9S as much as you do.
So thank you, for telling me. 9S will probably be stuck on that for a while given that it's so ["unnatural," she almost says, but she doesn't think Jude would like to hear that] strange for us, but... I think of all the humans I've met so far, you're the one who matches him best for something like this. I'm glad that it's you.
You'll try your best to make him happy. [That's what these kinds of relationships are supposed to lead to, right? Happiness. 6O certainly made it sound like that's what it was, and she wasn't exactly keen on using that wandering couple as a reference for romance.
There's a kind of firmness to her tone though. Nothing cold or anything like that, but one that brooks no arguments or rebuttals. The kind that would remind someone that 2B isn't just an android, she's a soldier, and for good reason.
The kind you wouldn't dare displease for fear of the consequences.]
Right?
[ jude's shoulders sag as he breathes out what might actually be the biggest sigh of relief in his life.
her words are so kind, so caring, but there's a protectiveness behind them that can't be mistaken. jude takes it to heart, and when he speaks again, this time he looks at her. really looks at her. he needs her to know how serious he is about this.
he nods, resolute. ]
Right.
All I want to do is make him as happy as he makes me. Even if things don't work out... even if he changes his mind... I still want to be by his side. He has so much to give, so much more than he realizes, and I want to be there to support him through both the good and the bad.
[ and then poor jude tosses an arm over his eyes, hiding his face again. ]
I really, really like him, 2B. So much.
her words are so kind, so caring, but there's a protectiveness behind them that can't be mistaken. jude takes it to heart, and when he speaks again, this time he looks at her. really looks at her. he needs her to know how serious he is about this.
he nods, resolute. ]
Right.
All I want to do is make him as happy as he makes me. Even if things don't work out... even if he changes his mind... I still want to be by his side. He has so much to give, so much more than he realizes, and I want to be there to support him through both the good and the bad.
[ and then poor jude tosses an arm over his eyes, hiding his face again. ]
I really, really like him, 2B. So much.
Edited 2017-10-31 11:04 (UTC)
[She's so happy to hear his words that it could almost be painful. All she wants for 9S is the kind of happiness that Jude speaks of. To know that someone else wants that for him truly touches her, makes her chest ache in the spot where a heart would be if she was human.]
I'm glad to hear that. Really. I'm sure he'll do his best to make you happy too. [9S might be the literal light of her life, but Jude is important to her as well, as is his own happiness.]
I'm glad to hear that. Really. I'm sure he'll do his best to make you happy too. [9S might be the literal light of her life, but Jude is important to her as well, as is his own happiness.]
Thank you, 2B. I promise I'll take good care of him.
[ jude smiles, a soft, tender, radiant thing. he didn't know what to expect from 2b, but he thinks he should have. he should have expected her to be happy. what was he so nervous about, again? 2b is both their friend, and he knows that all she wants is to see 9s happy, too. they have the same goal.
that's why... he doesn't want to steer the conversation in another direction entirely. he doesn't. he wants to bask in this happiness forever, but there's something else he needs to talk about, and it's just as important. jude steels himself. ]
But... this isn't the only thing I needed to talk to you about. There's something 9S said that's been troubling me. Something he let slip. He didn't mean to tell me, and I'm pretty sure he's just pretending he never did, but...
At the most inopportune moments, it just comes flooding back to me. And I don't know how I'm supposed to bring it up with him.
[ jude smiles, a soft, tender, radiant thing. he didn't know what to expect from 2b, but he thinks he should have. he should have expected her to be happy. what was he so nervous about, again? 2b is both their friend, and he knows that all she wants is to see 9s happy, too. they have the same goal.
that's why... he doesn't want to steer the conversation in another direction entirely. he doesn't. he wants to bask in this happiness forever, but there's something else he needs to talk about, and it's just as important. jude steels himself. ]
But... this isn't the only thing I needed to talk to you about. There's something 9S said that's been troubling me. Something he let slip. He didn't mean to tell me, and I'm pretty sure he's just pretending he never did, but...
At the most inopportune moments, it just comes flooding back to me. And I don't know how I'm supposed to bring it up with him.
[There is undeniably a part of her that's happy to hear those words. To know that just as much as 9S was her entire world, she was his, too. But that happiness doesn't bring her any joy. It's too quickly smothered and choked, drowned out by the reality of their situation. Of what she is, of what she's done to him. No matter how much he cares about it, she doesn't think there's a thing in the the world, nothing she could do that would be enough to make amends.]
I shouldn't be. Not when you should hate me.
[How can he not hate her, the way she hates herself?]
I killed you. [It's only now that she can say it plainly, now that she's condemning herself.] Over and over and over again, and you were barely even mad at me.
[Maybe every now and then, she killed him and he looked at her with something aside from resignation or understanding. Sometimes he was scared, sometimes upset, but so rarely did she see him mad at what she did to him, betrayed. And that couldn't be right, not when she deserved every bit of it.]
Why aren't you mad at me? [It could almost be a sob for how raw and broken her voice is.]
I shouldn't be. Not when you should hate me.
[How can he not hate her, the way she hates herself?]
I killed you. [It's only now that she can say it plainly, now that she's condemning herself.] Over and over and over again, and you were barely even mad at me.
[Maybe every now and then, she killed him and he looked at her with something aside from resignation or understanding. Sometimes he was scared, sometimes upset, but so rarely did she see him mad at what she did to him, betrayed. And that couldn't be right, not when she deserved every bit of it.]
Why aren't you mad at me? [It could almost be a sob for how raw and broken her voice is.]
[And there it is.
Because really, what else could it be? Something 9S let slip. Something that's been troubling him. It upset him, that's what 9S had said about it. He hadn't meant to tell Jude because he knew it would upset him.
But she lets herself play dumb for just a moment longer because the moment she stops, she knows it'll feel like she's being crushed by the sheer weight of her own feelings, enough to stop her breath. And she'll need that, to give Jude the answers he deserves. The way she's always known he deserves to know, no matter how hard she tried to put it behind her.
She just needs a moment to prepare herself. That's all. No matter how things might change, she'll accept it no matter what.]
What was it?
Because really, what else could it be? Something 9S let slip. Something that's been troubling him. It upset him, that's what 9S had said about it. He hadn't meant to tell Jude because he knew it would upset him.
But she lets herself play dumb for just a moment longer because the moment she stops, she knows it'll feel like she's being crushed by the sheer weight of her own feelings, enough to stop her breath. And she'll need that, to give Jude the answers he deserves. The way she's always known he deserves to know, no matter how hard she tried to put it behind her.
She just needs a moment to prepare herself. That's all. No matter how things might change, she'll accept it no matter what.]
What was it?
9S, he... he said something about dying. Specifically, the fact that he's died more times than I can imagine.
"You don't know how many times I died because of something like that."
Those were his exact words.
[ they might as well be burned into his memory. ]
2B, I don't...
[ jude inhales, shoulders trembling. it's a stark contrast from the mood barely minutes ago. ]
I don't understand what he meant, by that, and I know bringing it back up will only upset him.
"You don't know how many times I died because of something like that."
Those were his exact words.
[ they might as well be burned into his memory. ]
2B, I don't...
[ jude inhales, shoulders trembling. it's a stark contrast from the mood barely minutes ago. ]
I don't understand what he meant, by that, and I know bringing it back up will only upset him.
Edited 2017-10-31 12:54 (UTC)
YoRHa androids die very frequently, and Scanner models in particular have a tendency to die out on the field. With the spare bodies the Bunker provided for us, it was expected to die relatively often.
[Once again, she thinks it would be so very easy to leave it at that. That 9S's death were simply the result of being part of YoRHa. It's not technically wrong, to be honest. 9S only died so often because he's a YoRHa android.
Lying has never come easy to her. She's always had to make do with partial truths instead. She doesn't like that about herself either.]
But that's not what he meant either.
[It's almost funny, how familiar this feeling of dread has become. She can feel it in every circuit, in every wire that holds her together. To excel in battle requires the kind of keen intuition that tells you what to expect before it even happens. So really, she can't pretend to be surprised that things are turning out like this. She knew it from the start.]
I don't think he would've answered even if you asked. It's good that you asked me instead. [9S is always trying so hard to spare her from some kind of emotional hurt. That hurts in its own way, but it's about time she did the same for him.] You won't like it, though. [A pause, and then:] No, you won't like me.
[Once again, she thinks it would be so very easy to leave it at that. That 9S's death were simply the result of being part of YoRHa. It's not technically wrong, to be honest. 9S only died so often because he's a YoRHa android.
Lying has never come easy to her. She's always had to make do with partial truths instead. She doesn't like that about herself either.]
But that's not what he meant either.
[It's almost funny, how familiar this feeling of dread has become. She can feel it in every circuit, in every wire that holds her together. To excel in battle requires the kind of keen intuition that tells you what to expect before it even happens. So really, she can't pretend to be surprised that things are turning out like this. She knew it from the start.]
I don't think he would've answered even if you asked. It's good that you asked me instead. [9S is always trying so hard to spare her from some kind of emotional hurt. That hurts in its own way, but it's about time she did the same for him.] You won't like it, though. [A pause, and then:] No, you won't like me.
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