![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
... I see.
[And that's all she says at first. If she thought she needed time to gather her thoughts for his first question, that was nothing compared to this. She's curious as to who might've told him that, but ultimately, it doesn't matter, does it? Not for helping him right now, anyways.
Although it's not like she knows how to help him here either. For as much as 9S dismissed YoRHa's creed about emotions, something like this is entirely different from what they're used to. Some androids pursued romance with each other, sure, but they weren't them. Besides, from what she saw, it rarely ever went well. Death in combat was always just a single mission away. She doesn't think they were really in a situation or environment that could hope to encourage romance.
She notes the way he cuts himself off though, and she can guess what he might've said there. Even if she did uphold the image YoRHa wanted for them, she's not sure it's a good thing, to be the way she is. All her life, she's been their perfect soldier, stoic and professional, and what did that get her? Her status as an executioner.
But that's all in the past now. It's supposed to be. Maybe they should keep that in mind.]
... YoRHa doesn't exist anymore. It's gone. Emotions aren't prohibited. [The only rules they have are the ones they've made for themselves. 9S has always embraced feelings better than she does, and she sees no reason for that not to be the same even here.] So what do you feel about it?
[And that's all she says at first. If she thought she needed time to gather her thoughts for his first question, that was nothing compared to this. She's curious as to who might've told him that, but ultimately, it doesn't matter, does it? Not for helping him right now, anyways.
Although it's not like she knows how to help him here either. For as much as 9S dismissed YoRHa's creed about emotions, something like this is entirely different from what they're used to. Some androids pursued romance with each other, sure, but they weren't them. Besides, from what she saw, it rarely ever went well. Death in combat was always just a single mission away. She doesn't think they were really in a situation or environment that could hope to encourage romance.
She notes the way he cuts himself off though, and she can guess what he might've said there. Even if she did uphold the image YoRHa wanted for them, she's not sure it's a good thing, to be the way she is. All her life, she's been their perfect soldier, stoic and professional, and what did that get her? Her status as an executioner.
But that's all in the past now. It's supposed to be. Maybe they should keep that in mind.]
... YoRHa doesn't exist anymore. It's gone. Emotions aren't prohibited. [The only rules they have are the ones they've made for themselves. 9S has always embraced feelings better than she does, and she sees no reason for that not to be the same even here.] So what do you feel about it?
Is there anywhere you know near the western mountain slopes to meet me? There's a lagoon and a couple of caves to the south... or I can come get you at that house that Nines was staying at. I'll lead you to where we're going.
[now that he's successfully convinced her to come see her surprise, he sounds eager and excited; this is going to be great!]
[now that he's successfully convinced her to come see her surprise, he sounds eager and excited; this is going to be great!]
[2B's words are surprising enough that 9S lifts his head to look at her, though all he manages is to stare for a long moment. Of all the things she might have said, he didn't anticipate something like this. Not from the soldier who did her duty no matter how much it pained her, time after time. And he knows it now, just how very true that is. Just how many times she had carried out orders dutifully regardless of herself.
Hearing something like that from her, could he be anything but shocked? Her question drifts into his awareness belatedly, in the wake of that. It's the same thing he's been asking himself since he was confronted with that reality, but his thought routines haven't settled in what he would consider a very cohesive response.
Still, he tries. Because 2B is trying to help him, despite doubtless being just as lost on such matters as he is. Perhaps more, even]
Confused...and warm, mostly. And worried.
[Because it's so far beyond the realm of his experience. Other YoRHa may have fraternized, but neither he nor 2B had indulged in such things. Considering just how often they had died, and considering their individual natures, it wasn't so surprising. 9S can easily imagine other units may have admired 2B in that way though, and maybe someone had]
I don't know how someone can know what I am, and what that means, and just...not disregard it, exactly, but not consider it that big of a deal either.
Hearing something like that from her, could he be anything but shocked? Her question drifts into his awareness belatedly, in the wake of that. It's the same thing he's been asking himself since he was confronted with that reality, but his thought routines haven't settled in what he would consider a very cohesive response.
Still, he tries. Because 2B is trying to help him, despite doubtless being just as lost on such matters as he is. Perhaps more, even]
Confused...and warm, mostly. And worried.
[Because it's so far beyond the realm of his experience. Other YoRHa may have fraternized, but neither he nor 2B had indulged in such things. Considering just how often they had died, and considering their individual natures, it wasn't so surprising. 9S can easily imagine other units may have admired 2B in that way though, and maybe someone had]
I don't know how someone can know what I am, and what that means, and just...not disregard it, exactly, but not consider it that big of a deal either.
[There was little choice available to her back then. On top of that, there was nothing else for her in that seemingly neverending cycle. She did her duty, and even if she was given a chance to go back and change it, she's not sure she would. Everything that happened was what led to this, for better or worse.
And her duty was over now. All of that was over now. They had no reason to cling to it any longer.]
I don't know either.
[Which isn't a slight against him or whoever confessed to him, but she's sure 9S will get what she means. They're androids meant to serve humanity. For a human to feel that strongly about one of them is odd. For an android to return that... There's something deep in her programming that tells her it's not appropriate, at the very least.
But this is Nines she's talking to. If he really did feel that way towards a human, she's not sure she would reproach him for it. If it made him happy and didn't hurt anyone, who was she to argue?]
They know that you're not... Familiar with these sorts of things, right?
And her duty was over now. All of that was over now. They had no reason to cling to it any longer.]
I don't know either.
[Which isn't a slight against him or whoever confessed to him, but she's sure 9S will get what she means. They're androids meant to serve humanity. For a human to feel that strongly about one of them is odd. For an android to return that... There's something deep in her programming that tells her it's not appropriate, at the very least.
But this is Nines she's talking to. If he really did feel that way towards a human, she's not sure she would reproach him for it. If it made him happy and didn't hurt anyone, who was she to argue?]
They know that you're not... Familiar with these sorts of things, right?
[Maybe he'll never really understand it, how any human could see him that way. Even knowing that gaps in distinction hadn't really held Jude back before, having heard about Milla in the past, there's something surreal about it. The difference might be that humans don't have core programming like androids do. They aren't hard-wired to accept certain realities regardless of what they feel or think about them.
It could easily be that, or something far more individual. He doesn't know which it is, but that's immaterial at this point. The conversation they'd had told him all he needed to know about it, maybe even more, because he'd felt entirely overwhelmed. A human valuing him in such a way is...]
Yeah, they know... [He keeps references to this human neutral, if only because it's simplest] I've told them about YoRHa before, and a little about my life. What we are, what that means, those kinds of things. I don't think the original plan was to tell me just then, or maybe even at all, but it sort of just happened.
[And now he's left thinking in circles over it. How something like that is even possible, despite being told in detail about those sentiments, still eludes him]
Someone like me...it seems unreal.
It could easily be that, or something far more individual. He doesn't know which it is, but that's immaterial at this point. The conversation they'd had told him all he needed to know about it, maybe even more, because he'd felt entirely overwhelmed. A human valuing him in such a way is...]
Yeah, they know... [He keeps references to this human neutral, if only because it's simplest] I've told them about YoRHa before, and a little about my life. What we are, what that means, those kinds of things. I don't think the original plan was to tell me just then, or maybe even at all, but it sort of just happened.
[And now he's left thinking in circles over it. How something like that is even possible, despite being told in detail about those sentiments, still eludes him]
Someone like me...it seems unreal.
[She feels... conflicted, on how to reply. "Someone like me." If he means as an android, she understands, but it feels like there's something else to that statement. Putting aside the fact that this person is human, why couldn't someone come to care for 9S? Maybe this isn't in a way that either of them are used to, but saying "someone like me" just feels... She doesn't like it.
Maybe that's not what he means though. Even if it is, she has no idea how to even begin asking about something like that. The main issue here, she thinks, is that 9S is an android and this person is a human.
For some people here, that's a minor detail, but to her (and she thinks for 9S as well), it's insurmountable.]
It's possible, I guess. [They have the proof right in front of them, but even as just an outside party, she has a hard time really picturing it.] Do you know if... Do you think that maybe one day, just maybe, you could feel similarly?
Maybe that's not what he means though. Even if it is, she has no idea how to even begin asking about something like that. The main issue here, she thinks, is that 9S is an android and this person is a human.
For some people here, that's a minor detail, but to her (and she thinks for 9S as well), it's insurmountable.]
It's possible, I guess. [They have the proof right in front of them, but even as just an outside party, she has a hard time really picturing it.] Do you know if... Do you think that maybe one day, just maybe, you could feel similarly?
All right. I'll see you there soon!
[when 2B arrives, Geir is waiting for her, coiled up around himself with his chin on the abandoned stone bench. it seems to be an excellent headrest. he looks up eagerly when he hears her step.]
[when 2B arrives, Geir is waiting for her, coiled up around himself with his chin on the abandoned stone bench. it seems to be an excellent headrest. he looks up eagerly when he hears her step.]
[9S can't deny that the possibility of being viewed that way exists, now. He was faced with it not long ago, and it remains vivid in his mind. How that happened might forever remain mysterious to him, but he's pretty sure what was said to him, and what was expressed, was earnest enough. That's what makes it so baffling.
He's an android, but more than that, he's... Well. In the time he'd been without 2B, he'd realized for himself his own capacity for cruelty, among so much else he'd rather others never saw. A2 had seen that side of him, seen his anger and despair, and his inability to overcome the loss of everything that held true meaning to him.
Was that sort of person even suitable?
2B's question is what drags him back from those thoughts, where he might otherwise become absorbed in them. He thinks about that, looking out at the sea just beyond the shore. An island in a sea in the middle of nowhere, and still, it's a human having feelings for him that's so difficult to understand]
I think... [9S starts, only to halt himself again] It's a possibility, although I... Even having it explained to me, I'm not sure how I'd know it.
[If he came to feel that way, or if he felt anything like that already. Some of what was described to him seemed familiar, but he isn't sure whether it's the same thing. But 2B asked about similarity and that, at least, he can answer to]
He's an android, but more than that, he's... Well. In the time he'd been without 2B, he'd realized for himself his own capacity for cruelty, among so much else he'd rather others never saw. A2 had seen that side of him, seen his anger and despair, and his inability to overcome the loss of everything that held true meaning to him.
Was that sort of person even suitable?
2B's question is what drags him back from those thoughts, where he might otherwise become absorbed in them. He thinks about that, looking out at the sea just beyond the shore. An island in a sea in the middle of nowhere, and still, it's a human having feelings for him that's so difficult to understand]
I think... [9S starts, only to halt himself again] It's a possibility, although I... Even having it explained to me, I'm not sure how I'd know it.
[If he came to feel that way, or if he felt anything like that already. Some of what was described to him seemed familiar, but he isn't sure whether it's the same thing. But 2B asked about similarity and that, at least, he can answer to]
Edited 2017-10-12 00:37 (UTC)
[there's something surreal about knowing an android, too. after 9S's revelations, Geir watches 2B's approach with a slightly more knowledgeable interest. someone made of metal and circuits... that's still just incredible.]
Hiya! I made you someplace special, so it shouldn't take too long to get there. How have you been?
[he turns to lead her further into the trees, traveling northwest-ish.]
Hiya! I made you someplace special, so it shouldn't take too long to get there. How have you been?
[he turns to lead her further into the trees, traveling northwest-ish.]
How was it explained to you?
[Maybe she might get a better understanding from that? Because as she is now, she really has no idea how you might confirm that you have romantic feelings either... Then again, if even 9S couldn't properly understand it from the explanation, she's not sure she'll do any better.]
[Maybe she might get a better understanding from that? Because as she is now, she really has no idea how you might confirm that you have romantic feelings either... Then again, if even 9S couldn't properly understand it from the explanation, she's not sure she'll do any better.]
[And she follows, making sure to keep pace with him. She's really curious now about what he possibly could've made for her, but she'll find out soon enough.]
I've been well. There's a lot to work on here. [Fishing for the greater good of feeding everyone, what more could she ask for.] And yourself?
I've been well. There's a lot to work on here. [Fishing for the greater good of feeding everyone, what more could she ask for.] And yourself?
Me and Vern found a cave to live in, so we've mostly been cleaning it out! Oh, but I've been exploring, too. And thinking about what else we're all going to do here. Honestly, it's been really fun...
[he can't help but enjoy the circumstances of the coven -- meeting people, looking at new things, and messing around with them when you find them. it feels like a kind of holiday for a curious, social dragon, especially now that he has a lair to retreat to.]
Speaking of which, have you guys found any cleaning stuff that smells good? We've just been using water and sand and grass.
[he can't help but enjoy the circumstances of the coven -- meeting people, looking at new things, and messing around with them when you find them. it feels like a kind of holiday for a curious, social dragon, especially now that he has a lair to retreat to.]
Speaking of which, have you guys found any cleaning stuff that smells good? We've just been using water and sand and grass.
[It's a little embarrassing think back on, and although 9S surely recalls every word because of what he is, they're no less difficult for him to repeat. His shoulders hunch, and he's grateful anew for the presence of his goggles, because it's a little easier knowing he doesn't have to worry about his face all that much]
It's, well... [Going to be a halting process to get through this] Being around me makes them warm, I guess? And it means a lot to them when I smile or laugh, for some reason. They're close with other people, but it's sort of different with me? Like some things I thought they did with everyone they...don't, actually. Those sorts of things.
[He finds it even more confusing, looking back on it. There are things he can understand, but the way it adds up is...]
That warmth thing in particular, I can sort of understand? Although I think they're the source of that rather than me. I mean, I think that's true of you too, but I wouldn't characterize it in exactly the same way. It's strange.
[But this they have established]
It's, well... [Going to be a halting process to get through this] Being around me makes them warm, I guess? And it means a lot to them when I smile or laugh, for some reason. They're close with other people, but it's sort of different with me? Like some things I thought they did with everyone they...don't, actually. Those sorts of things.
[He finds it even more confusing, looking back on it. There are things he can understand, but the way it adds up is...]
That warmth thing in particular, I can sort of understand? Although I think they're the source of that rather than me. I mean, I think that's true of you too, but I wouldn't characterize it in exactly the same way. It's strange.
[But this they have established]
Edited 2017-10-16 02:53 (UTC)
[Living in a cave... It sounds a little strange to her, but given Geir's size, they probably don't have much choice. While she's not the type to care much about decorating or making a place feel like home, she can understand them wanting to freshen the cave up like that.]
Cleaning stuff that smells good... I can't say that I have, but maybe you could try planting flowers there. I've been to a cave before where the ground was almost completely covered in flowers, and it smelled nice.
Cleaning stuff that smells good... I can't say that I have, but maybe you could try planting flowers there. I've been to a cave before where the ground was almost completely covered in flowers, and it smelled nice.
Are there any flowers that grow in the dark? It's not very sunny in there...
[Geir's tone sounds somewhat arrested by the idea, though; a carpet of flowers is a difficult idea to get out of one's head. thinking it through, a lot of flowers on the ground would be unlikely to make it inside their cave, though. he sighs regretfully as he finishes making his way to that conclusion.]
...no... it probably wouldn't work. I'm too big and heavy, so if I walked on the floor, I could hurt them. But maybe the walls, if there are any shade-loving plants that climb rock.
[he gives a pleased little wriggle at that idea.]
Good thing there are so many trees and plants around here! Maybe we'll find something.
[Geir's tone sounds somewhat arrested by the idea, though; a carpet of flowers is a difficult idea to get out of one's head. thinking it through, a lot of flowers on the ground would be unlikely to make it inside their cave, though. he sighs regretfully as he finishes making his way to that conclusion.]
...no... it probably wouldn't work. I'm too big and heavy, so if I walked on the floor, I could hurt them. But maybe the walls, if there are any shade-loving plants that climb rock.
[he gives a pleased little wriggle at that idea.]
Good thing there are so many trees and plants around here! Maybe we'll find something.
[There's a moment where her brow furrows behind her goggles, but it smoothes away quickly. Despite reaffirming it a number of times already, she just. Doesn't quite understand why he thinks so fondly of her. So warmly. Sometimes it's reassuring to remember that despite everything that's happened between them, but other times, she just doesn't see it. As much as she wants to, it makes him almost harder to understand.
But that's not important right now. Besides, that's an issue she doesn't think she'll ever get sorted out anyways.]
So what you mean to them is different from what other people mean to them, and they treat you in a special manner because of it. [That makes a certain degree of sense to her, like the warmth thing.] For some reason.
[The why of it is really what has her lost though. Then again, the why of how anyone comes to like another person would probably be difficult to explain. Why did so many executioner models come to care for their targets despite knowing they would kill them? That was just something out of their control. Maybe romantic feelings were similar.
But those were also cases of just androids. A human coming to care for an android like that is particularly difficult for her to wrap her mind around.]
If you're not sure if you can determine whether or not you have those feelings, maybe you should tell them that. [Although she wouldn't want to upset this person either.]
But that's not important right now. Besides, that's an issue she doesn't think she'll ever get sorted out anyways.]
So what you mean to them is different from what other people mean to them, and they treat you in a special manner because of it. [That makes a certain degree of sense to her, like the warmth thing.] For some reason.
[The why of it is really what has her lost though. Then again, the why of how anyone comes to like another person would probably be difficult to explain. Why did so many executioner models come to care for their targets despite knowing they would kill them? That was just something out of their control. Maybe romantic feelings were similar.
But those were also cases of just androids. A human coming to care for an android like that is particularly difficult for her to wrap her mind around.]
If you're not sure if you can determine whether or not you have those feelings, maybe you should tell them that. [Although she wouldn't want to upset this person either.]
[2B gets to the heart of the matter so easily. Sometimes 9S wishes he had her knack for concision, but it's something to distinctly her that it'd be strange on anybody else. He can only nod at first, aware that she's right; the only thing he can do is be frank about his circumstances.
Although, in his case, that's certainly easier said than done]
Right... [He'll just have to figure out how to express that] I guess that's really the only thing I can do, in this situation.
[The more he thinks about it, the more he finds himself unsure. If that's the case, there isn't much for it but to admit he's out of his depth, much as a part of him hates that as a Scanner. Being well-informed is supposed to be his job, but in this realm he's rather at a loss]
Thanks, 2B.
[If only the rest were as simple as this. He chews his lip, debating how he ought to broach the subject, by far a weightier matter for all that it entails, and he can't imagine an outcome that doesn't involve hurting her]
Although, in his case, that's certainly easier said than done]
Right... [He'll just have to figure out how to express that] I guess that's really the only thing I can do, in this situation.
[The more he thinks about it, the more he finds himself unsure. If that's the case, there isn't much for it but to admit he's out of his depth, much as a part of him hates that as a Scanner. Being well-informed is supposed to be his job, but in this realm he's rather at a loss]
Thanks, 2B.
[If only the rest were as simple as this. He chews his lip, debating how he ought to broach the subject, by far a weightier matter for all that it entails, and he can't imagine an outcome that doesn't involve hurting her]
[The flowers she's thinking of seemed okay with weight given she and 9S walked through them, but they're also small enough to be able to maneuver around them. That's clearly not the case for the dragon, no matter how strong the flower.
It's a bit of a shame. It would've been nice to see lunar tears like that again.]
I hope you do, too. If you need help, I know someone who should be able to determine what plants here can thrive in the dark.
It's a bit of a shame. It would've been nice to see lunar tears like that again.]
I hope you do, too. If you need help, I know someone who should be able to determine what plants here can thrive in the dark.
Really? Who? I always like meeting new people...
[as they've walked, the landscape has changed somewhat around them, with the forest getting thicker and the hush around them deepening. now, a new sound appears: a babble of fast-moving water.]
--We're almost there!
[as they've walked, the landscape has changed somewhat around them, with the forest getting thicker and the hush around them deepening. now, a new sound appears: a babble of fast-moving water.]
--We're almost there!
You're welcome. [Not that she feels like she really did much here honestly, but if it helped him sort out his thoughts better somehow, she's glad. She only wants the best for him, after all. Whatever that might mean in this case.] I hope things... That things work out the best way they can, when you tell them that.
[She's rooting for you 9S!!! For your happiness!!!! And that he maintains a positive relationship with this human, lbr here keeping humans happy is still a priority even in a situation like this.]
Was there something that prompted their confession though? [She can't help but be at least a little curious. Then again, if 6O was anyone to go by, maybe confessions just sprang up out of nowhere.] If you don't mind telling me, that is.
[Given the nature of this situation, she'll understand if it's something he considers to be private.]
[She's rooting for you 9S!!! For your happiness!!!! And that he maintains a positive relationship with this human, lbr here keeping humans happy is still a priority even in a situation like this.]
Was there something that prompted their confession though? [She can't help but be at least a little curious. Then again, if 6O was anyone to go by, maybe confessions just sprang up out of nowhere.] If you don't mind telling me, that is.
[Given the nature of this situation, she'll understand if it's something he considers to be private.]
[Well, there it is, a perfect opening. 9S couldn't ask for a better segue into the matter at hand, and yet he finds himself hesitant still yet. He worries at his lip, pensive silence settling heavily over him as he tries to arrange his thoughts. The answer is simple, but at the same time, it comes with such gravity that he knows it is anything but that in truth]
I...transmitted something about myself. Something I hadn't meant to, since I didn't want to upset them.
[And yet he'd failed, in the midst of that argument. He was trying so hard to get Jude to understand why he was so determined about the subject and he wasn't getting through to him, but he still regrets that he let that thought slip. His frustration had gotten the better of him and it should not have.
His line of sight remains riveted to his boots]
What I...expressed...was how often I remember dying. How often I...lacked the strength to fight.
[And he thinks from that much alone, 2B can easily discern what it means. Still, the fear of where those thoughts could lead, what they could dig up and how much they might hurt her, prompt him to apologize. He knows he has to tell her, because one day, Jude might ask why it would be that he'd died time and time again, and if she heard about it that way, he couldn't forgive himself]
I...I'm sorry. It wasn't something I ever meant to...
I...transmitted something about myself. Something I hadn't meant to, since I didn't want to upset them.
[And yet he'd failed, in the midst of that argument. He was trying so hard to get Jude to understand why he was so determined about the subject and he wasn't getting through to him, but he still regrets that he let that thought slip. His frustration had gotten the better of him and it should not have.
His line of sight remains riveted to his boots]
What I...expressed...was how often I remember dying. How often I...lacked the strength to fight.
[And he thinks from that much alone, 2B can easily discern what it means. Still, the fear of where those thoughts could lead, what they could dig up and how much they might hurt her, prompt him to apologize. He knows he has to tell her, because one day, Jude might ask why it would be that he'd died time and time again, and if she heard about it that way, he couldn't forgive himself]
I...I'm sorry. It wasn't something I ever meant to...
Edited 2017-10-22 04:47 (UTC)
9S. He's an android like me. [Although given how social he is, she wouldn't be surprised if the two of them had already met.
The deeper they walk into the forest, the more she's reminded of her world honestly. Even though there were a number of machines living there, walking through the heart of it was a lot like walking through this part of the forest. Silent save for the sounds of running water and the wind blowing through trees. It's rather calming, even if she still has no idea what to expect out of all this.]
You're pretty excited. [To say the least. It's... kind of endearing.]
The deeper they walk into the forest, the more she's reminded of her world honestly. Even though there were a number of machines living there, walking through the heart of it was a lot like walking through this part of the forest. Silent save for the sounds of running water and the wind blowing through trees. It's rather calming, even if she still has no idea what to expect out of all this.]
You're pretty excited. [To say the least. It's... kind of endearing.]
Page 3 of 8